Proving once again that politics and sports make very strange bedfellows, Speaker of the House John Boehner said he had to give a pep talk to well-known pep talker and sultan of the spittle Lou Holtz.
Boehner alluded to the chat between him and the former Gamecocks coach in an address to the Ripon Society, a center-right Republican think tank, on Wednesday.
“Last night, I got a three-page text from my good friend Lou Holtz, who must have watched the inaugural and then all that blabber on TV…: ‘I’m done, finished, the country’s over with — we’re not doing this again!’ Now, I had already had this conversation with Lou about nine or ten days after the election. He came in to speak to our 34 new Members. And before he went over to talk to them, he came over to my office, and he was moaning and groaning. I said, ‘Lou, would you stop it? We’re Americans, we’ll figure this out!’ And I had to spend 15 minutes giving Lou Holtz a pep talk! I had to do it again last night!”
A three page text? Good lord. Somehow we bet that text was more coherent than anything Ol’ Lou has said in the past few years in his ESPN gig. Just think of how long it probably took him to furiously type out that text on his Nokia 3310.
Also, can you imagine getting any sort of pep talk from John Boehner? “Shhh, Lou,” says Boehner as he pets Lou’s old, dry hair. “It’s going to be alright. We’re going to file another bill in the morning to repeal Obamacare, and I’m sure it’ll finally pass the Senate because of magic and unicorns.”
Lou being disappointed about the Big Scary Black Man getting to play president again should shock no one considering he was rumored to be mulling a run as a Republican in a House race out of Florida a few years ago.
Also, Ol’ Lou seems to be a big fan of Gov. Nikki Haley, having given her campaign cash just last year.
In any case, if Holtz says he’s “not doing this again,” does that mean he’s moving to a place where we don’t have to listen to his blather?