For a while there, we were worried Hurricane Isaac would threaten plans for Gov. Nikki Haley’s primetime speech at the Republican National Convention in Tampa this week. Luckily, her appearance was only delayed until Tuesday at 9:00pm — which means Palmetto Public Record can still bring you the official Nikki Haley RNC drinking game.
Most networks are still deciding whether to carry the speech live, so look here for a link to the webcast shortly before her speech begins. (Update: Look for the video below the rules, plus a PPR liveblog) We’ll also be keeping a running tally on Twitter, and will archive a video of the speech in this post in case you’re not able to imbibe on a work night.
The rules are simple — just drink whenever Gov. Haley says/does something on the list. We recommend sticking to beer in order to avoid alcohol poisoning, though we’ve included a few Bourbon Bonus rules at the bottom to keep things exciting. For best results, have the Nikki “DJ Trikki” Haley Mixtape playing in the background. And good luck… Your liver is going to need it!
Haley is referred to as a “rising star”
Shiny skirt/jacket combo (that’s a given)
Attacks the media (two drinks if she mentions bloggers)
Praises the tea party
Mentions her husband’s deployment
Mentions her kids
“Common sense solutions”
Praises the Ryan Budget
Calls her husband “First Dude”
Tells the Little Miss Bamberg story
Violates the Palin Rule (any time a single sentence lasts longer than 30 seconds or contains at least three run-on thoughts)
Mentions anything to do with women’s rights/health (doubtful)
Finish Your Drink
“It’s a great day in South Carolina!”
“South Carolina is open for business!”
“Can’t is not an option!”
The audience cheers for the idea of letting uninsured people die
Bourbon Bonus (extra shot)
Changes “great day” slogan to the Reagany-sounding “It’s a great day in America!” etc.
Uses “not an option” slogan to plug her book
Reads a Teleprompter joke about Obama from a Teleprompter
Mentions who ACTUALLY won SC’s presidential primary (not gonna happen)
WATCH THE SPEECH: